I hate this heat. It’s the kind of heat that just makes you feel pissed off for no reason. I’ve been secluded in my house all weekend. But not in the kind of comfortable solitude that I enjoy. It’s a restless solitude, a bored solitude.
I’ve been spending this time thinking too much, writing too much, reminiscing too much and wishing I could just already be where I need to be.
I want him out of my head. I’m annoyed that he’s still there. I’m even more annoyed that the feelings are still there. I can speak of growth and letting go all day long but the truth is, my stubborn heart is fighting vigorously to hold on to her love for him.
I try to reason with her, explaining that we can continue to love him and still let him go. That in fact, letting him go, is an act of love in itself, for him and for myself.
Truth be told, she does what she wants and never listens to me much anyway.
But I think she’s beginning to come around. Only time will tell I guess.