drained.

Ok, so I did it. I wrote something to him personally and put in on my other blog that I used to write letters to him on all the time.

I haven’t written anything directly to him in awhile. I used to “talk” to him all the time. Telling him everything about how I felt and what I thought. I don’t know why but it kinda makes me nervous to do so now.

I still don’t know if I will ask him to read it or not. Maybe some things are just better left unsaid. I wrote it to him with only feelings of love and acceptance but he seems to find fault with everything I do and say.

I will have to think on it some more. I probably won’t write anymore today because writing that for him took alot out of me, emotionally. I was crying throughout the whole thing. Now I just want to relax and get lost in some reading and try not to think of any heart-related, emotional topics for awhile.

There is an article relating to neuroplasticity and how you can train your brain to “delete” useless information that I’ve been dying to read. Also, a friend sent me a link to a translated version of The Tibetan Book of the Dead, which has been on my “To Read” bucket list for a long time.

I think those distractions should suffice for tonight.

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