1 player mind games.

I think he is purposely avoiding me.

At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. There was a time when I would have been hurt. There was a time when if more than 2 days went by without seeing him, I would be missing him terribly. But after further analysis, I realized I don’t really care now.

Before, I alternated between wanting to be near him and wanting him to stay away from me. I was either comforted and ecstatic about his presence or I had to suffer through an onslaught to my senses….either from his negative energy or my own wistfulness. It just depended on my mood, on his mood and what was going on at any given time.

Currently, I really don’t have an opinion either way. I don’t want him to feel like he has to stay away but whether I see him or not is irrelevant to me. He’s just another person to me for the most part.

It’s ok if he is purposely avoiding me for his own peace of mind and happiness. He’s allowed to set his boundaries and protect his energy however he sees fit.

It’s even ok if he’s playing some kind of game, withholding himself, waiting for me to say “I miss him” or beg for him to come back so I can see his face. I might have done that in the past but things are different now and he will not get the reaction from me he is hoping for. No proclamations or pleas will be forthcoming.

I have no idea what is in his mind. I just know that I’m not interested in power struggles or mind games and the only ego I care about boosting anymore is my own.

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