I’ve been thinking of him more than usual today.
There was a time when he was all I could think about. He was the one constant in my chaotic array of thoughts.
But lately, I have evicted him from my mind in favor of finding peace there. The “urgency” and the “need” for him has faded.
And it hasn’t returned but I still had many thoughts of him today.
I’m trying to decide if writing about him still serves to help me in this healing process. I know he was a part of my story and he will always appear in my mind…and probably sometimes in my heart, too. There is alot of emotional pain and many negative thoughts I still need to work through but he also brought out much emotional joy and many positive thoughts, as well. So, I’m trying to balance all that out and decide if I should give those thoughts any validation or merit….or any space in my life to even put it into words.
I need to think about it a little more…..