The last 2 days have been hectic and emotionally draining.

My stepmom had a mild stroke last Saturday. She was sick and in bed all weekend and didn’t even tell anyone she was having serious issues until Monday when we brought her to the ER. She is admitted into the hospital now and they are trying to figure out what’s going on. She’s already suffering from end stage renal disease so every issue she has (and she has many) is life threatening.

My son’s sociopath sperm donor has sent a message through his parents that he wants to see my son. He has never even been in the same room as my son in the entire 8 years of my son’s life and I plan to keep it that way. He is a danger to my child, both emotionally and physically, and it will be over my dead body that I allow him anywhere near my son.

I’m just trying not to stress too much and remain positive right now. I’ve been meditating like crazy and listening to binaural beats to keep myself calm and focused.

I even asked the INTP to stay away yesterday. I just felt like I didn’t need the added energy of his hatred to pile on top of everything else. I felt like that would have been my undoing. But I changed my mind because as it turns out, I find his presence more of a comfort than his absence. I know he hates me and as he is standing next to me, he’s probably thinking the most awful thoughts about me. But I try not to think about that. I just want to be near him. However odd it may seem, his presence has always soothed me.

Anyway, I haven’t felt like writing much the last few days but I’ll be back to it soon. I have some good things waiting to be posted, something beyond the mundane. I just don’t have the motivation or time to finish them right this moment. But stay tuned….

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