better

My heart is tired, broken, empty…..

but there is a fire in my soul.

A fire that motivates me to leave undeserving people in the ashes in my wake.

Every bit of energy I come into contact with affects my own so I will no longer continue to destroy myself with the energy of people or situations that darken or drain my own.

I’m a good person. I’m a giver. I try to live my life with positivity and optimism. I’m a believer in love and magic and all the amazing things that make life worth living.

And yes, I also have a dark side and just like every other human, I struggle with feelings of selfishness or jealousy or anger. I do want revenge when he wrongs me. I do want to hurt him when he hurts me. But I will not act on these feelings, no matter how much I yell or threaten. Because I am not that person. I am not cruel and I do not enjoy the pain of others. I care about people. I care about him. Even if I don’t like the way he is.

I am out of his life and he knows I won’t hurt him or try to make him suffer or affect his life in any adverse way. And because he knows this, he may think he’s won. He may think he’s in the clear. But he has lost more than will ever understand….in me and in himself. He has to live with who he is.

I only have to live with who I am. Which is why I choose to be better.

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