It’s an important question we’ve all asked ourselves countless times throughout our existence and the simplest answer is always defined as such:
I am Joy, 41, Single, Medical Records Coordinator, 3 children.
But these things say nothing about who I am. These things are not original to me.
Joy is a given name from my parents. 41 is just a number, a changing one at that. My job is a title given to be my my employer. Being single only depicts my current relationship status. None of these things are unique to only me. 3 children doesn’t even tell you what kind of mother I am, only the number of offspring I have.
These are all just labels that offer no real depiction of who I actually am.
But the most sagacious of us, those who want to know ourselves beyond our societal labels and who try to do so by diving deep, soul searching and self-inquiring, exploring that inner gray matter that most try to avoid, are able to tell you that the question is rhetorical. It is not a question with a solid answer….or at least, it shouldn’t be. Because just as the world around us is ever changing, so should we be. Every day is an opportunity to grow, to change, to learn something new and to be better than we were the day before. We should spend each new day discovering and ultimately creating who it is we are.
There is a quote I love….
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place”
I like that idea…..the idea of unbecoming and rebuilding from the foundation of what you are at your core. So maybe the question is not “Who am I?” but instead “Who do I want to be?”
I know the woman I want to be…the traits and values I want to possess, the difference I want to make in the lives of those I love, the change I want to effect in the world….and I know that being anything but wholly authentic and doing anything but trying my best to become that woman is a disservice to both myself and to everyone in my life.
So I plan to unbecome everything that I feel isn’t right or isn’t me. It’s time to drown out the static and start listening to the quiet certainty of my own heart, mind and soul.
There is a lot of introspection I need to do, things I need to reflect on and changes I need to make within myself and I’m ready to put in the work.
I feel like I have one responsibility…..and that is to show up every day as the woman I want to become. Act like her. Love like her. Share like her. Live like her.
Do whatever it takes to align myself with her and every day, I will become more and more like the woman I want to be. Because this woman IS me. She already lives within me. All I have to do is unveil her.
I want to create joy, find peace, give love, make love, make a difference, offer guidance, hold space, offer comfort, promote positivity, celebrate laughter and just live beautifully. Because at my core, if an answer were indeed demanded, this is who I am.